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For general inquiries, prayer needs, anything at all, feel free to shoot an email to orevanddror@gmail.com

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Having hidden myself from the world due to insecurity for more than half a century, I made the decision that I just won't do it anymore.  ADHD is a debilitating challenge to exist with. I have suffered greatly in the course of my life, because of it. It encompasses symptoms far more than just the inability to focus. These are but a few of the symptoms I deal with: Lack of focus : Having trouble staying on task, getting easily distracted, and struggling to listen. Disorganization : Difficulty keeping things in order, often forgetting to follow through on tasks. Impulsivity : Making quick decisions without fully thinking them through. Time management problems : Struggling with punctuality and meeting deadlines. Forgetfulness : Frequently forgetting important details, appointments, or deadlines. Restlessness : Feeling constantly on edge or fidgety. Emotional concerns : Experiencing mood swings and having a low tolerance for frustration. Relati...
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Sanctified, Purified, Clean and Holy

With ADHD comes a host of unsavory behaviors that keep you in their grip. When you are engaging in these behaviors, you usually do so in secret. Dark alleyways come to mind.  Everything about these behaviors feels forbidden, unacceptable and utterly unholy. As a neurodivergent born-again believer, you find yourself living with your feet in both worlds.  You cannot extract yourself from your ingrained habits and none of your fellow congregants can understand why you are still in bondage.  At services you attempt to act upright and above reproach, yet you just got done engaging in a horribly hedonistic tete a tete the day before. You cannot make proper eye contact when you are walking in both worlds.  You're not free in the Spirit and guilt is keeping you from genuine connections. I went through deliverance sessions, counseling sessions, one on ones with leadership, etc. etc. Nothing helped because no one was speaking my crazy-assed-brain language. It never dawned on m...
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A Shift in Focus

What is my goal today?  Is it a self-focused one, like how I can gratify my flesh in some way?  Maybe a nice meal, buy a trinket or new pair of shoes, post a selfie of how cute I look in my new shoes on Instagram? Having spent most of my life as my central point of focus, it's an odd feeling to not do it.  But I am learning to live differently under the tutelage of the Holy Spirit. You can be a narcissist without thinking you're fabulous.   Most of my life, I spent almost all of my days thinking about how messed up I was. But all day my thoughts were about myself, albeit negative ones. When you think about yourself that much, it is an odd form of narcissism.  The way to soften the intensity of doing that all day is to ameliorate the negative self-thoughts with escapist habits like shopping, overeating, hanging out with an inappropriate human, drinking alcohol, etc. That's a vicious cycle because engaging in escapism makes you beat up on yourself more. ...
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